The Balancing Act
I was listening to a podcast the other day and the speaker explained balance as a moment in time rather than a state of being. As a mother, that stuck with me. Mothers have a particular way of trying to do it all, so the idea of balance is often discussed as a goal. Our culture tells us that we as mothers should spend as much time as we can with our kids, be heavily involved in everything they do, work outside the home, climb to the top of our professions, stay fit, and feed our families healthy, nutritious meals that have been cooked from scratch.
If you are a mother who has felt that pressure in your life, you are not alone. It is an impossible standard to be held to even if you are the one holding yourself there. I am a perfectionist by nature, and it is something I have to fight. Trying to achieve perfection is absurd because, well, I’m human. I still believe in setting lofty goals and working hard to achieve them, but I’ve learned over the years to find ways to let the little things go. Never have I needed those lessons more than when I became a mother and as I grew our family. I am eternally grateful for the friends who will remind me to give myself grace. I would give it to a friend, so why am I denying it to myself?
No matter what stage of life you are in, let this be your reminder to really take a moment to yourself today to see what those who love you see. How would your best friend describe you? Your sister? Your daughter? Your son? Your husband? I am willing to bet that not a single one of them would use the words “hot mess.” I would also encourage you to take the time today to let someone you love know why you love them. Maybe even reach out to that friend or family member who you love but feel hurt by. Chances are, they’re feeling the same way.
If you are a working mother, carve out ten minutes this week to write down ways and times that you can be fully present to your family. This might mean not checking work emails once you come home or not coming home until all your work is finished. Then let go of the pressure to be present to them while you are focusing on work. Working is no doubt helping your family immensely, so give yourself the mental space to focus on that when you need to. (Your husband probably already does this naturally, so guess what, so can you!)
If you are a stay at home mom, carve out ten minutes this week to write down ways and times that you can focus on yourself. Maybe you can wake up before your kids every day to do something creative or start your day in prayer. Maybe your kids have a consistent rest or camp time when you can focus on reading a good book. Think about what would recharge you, give yourself time to do it, and then let go of the pressure to be productive beyond that. You have chosen to make the rest of your day about serving your family at home, and that is no doubt helping your family immensely. Also, when all else fails…add water (ice water, a coffee, a shower, or dare I say a glass of wine can really help when you get totally overwhelmed).
If you are not a mother, these lessons still apply. Just because you don’t have children relying on you doesn’t mean you’re not overworking yourself and putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to be perfect or achieve everything. I hope that you, too, will carve out time this week to focus on yourself. Taking care of yourself is essential if you want to be able to take care of others.
So cheers to all the women out there who have ever looked in the mirror and seen themselves as less than. This is your wake up call to that fact that you are divinely designed and if you are doing your best at least 50% of the time, you’re truly killing it. Thank you for the inspiration you are giving to the unseen women and girls quietly looking up to you and thinking, “Wow. I wish I could be like her one day.”
