Protecting Your Peace
I’ve been reflecting a lot this year on what kinds of things bring peace to my life and what things take it away. I made some major changes last year, including the decision to stay home full time with my girls. My job had become extremely stressful, the working environment became toxic, and I was constantly trying to find ways to fix it all. More on that later…
Being home full time understandably brought many changes. My days move at a much slower pace (although they are certainly still jam-packed and somehow give me less down time than when I was working outside of the home), our finances are tighter, and I have finally found the inner peace that enables me to be the wife and mother I’ve always wanted to be.
My oldest pointed out to me about one month into staying home with them that I didn’t yell as much as I used to. I catch myself more often when everything seems to be escalating around me with toddler fights, paint messes, or food everywhere taking a deep breath instead of exploding. Don’t get me wrong, I still have moments of madness and chaos. It’s just that they no longer take away my peace.
For Lent this year, I gave up Instagram and Facebook. I count myself lucky that I have never been greatly affected by social media. I don’t find it depressing to scroll through other people’s highlight reels (which really is all these apps are), and I have always been very comfortable in my own skin. That being said, I’m still glad I gave them up. It forced me to look around instead of down into my own world more often throughout the day. I realized how often I would want to pull out my phone when my kids were playing independently or watching a show instead of taking the time to just watch them play or watch the show with them. I am using those apps again, but I use them with more intention and in smaller windows of time.
I joined the Walking with Purpose Bible study group at my church this year, as well. At first I was slightly disappointed. Everyone seemed lovely, but we never really went beyond reading the passages and answering the questions. I wasn’t sure if I’d stick with it because that felt like something that I could very much do on my own. Then one Wednesday it happened. We all reached the point where we were comfortable enough with one another to truly open up and discuss the big questions that were constantly weighing on our hearts. I now count myself so blessed to be among this group of incredible women who are both strong for and vulnerable with each other. I have made some great friends from the group, and that friendship has extended to our families.
Protecting your peace might mean not using social media or not keeping up with the news of the world. It might mean being bold and changing jobs to remove yourself from a situation beyond your control. Maybe for you it looks like staying exactly where you are but deciding to let go of the things you can’t control within that job. I have learned through so many wonderful, close friends that there is neither an easy nor a right way to hold peace in your heart. You just have to decide to do it. When the world tries to rock you off balance, go back to the things that bring you peace and let go of those that don’t.
Our lives are constantly changing and bringing each of us new joys and challenges. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay home or even how long I’ll want to. I could let that bring anxiety and chaos into my heart…but then I would no longer be protecting my peace. Instead, I choose to fully embrace and enjoy the season I’m in while trusting that this unexpected season (I truly never thought I’d be a stay at home mom) will lead me where I am meant to go. I hope you are able to choose peace this week and to find ways to protect that peace no matter what comes your way.
