When To Be Like a Tree

I’ve read many inspiring quotes related to trees over the years. Stand tall. Remember your roots. Go out on a limb…Well, this week it occurred to me that there are times in life that we should take notes from the trees and there are others when we should carve our own paths.

When I close my eyes and think of trees, I usually conjure up a forest in my mind. Sometimes it’s a deciduous forest filled with trees whose branches and leaves change with the seasons. They adapt to the weather, letting go of old leaves, going dormant when needed, and growing new buds each spring. Growing up, I was lucky enough to hike through many such forests with my dad. He taught me to appreciate and wonder at the power of nature and the way that big and small work together to create the natural world that surrounds us. Sometimes I imagine a coniferous forest filled with pines, spruces, and first. Maybe even one that is lightly covered in snow with the evergreen needles peeking through the blanket of white. These trees weather storms differently. They do not let all their needles fall when the winds pick up and the rain or snow rages against them. They stand tall and proud no matter what kind of weather assaults them.

Earlier this week as I was driving my girls to bring my husband a coffee at work, my four year old piped up from the back seat. “You’re not as fun as you usually are when you’re pregnant,” she told me. This, my friends, was a great time to be like a tree. Fortunately, I had had a pretty good morning so far and I was able to stand (or really sit because I was driving) tall and let her words roll right off my branches. It would have been very easy to snap at her, to say something snarky, to yell, or to cry. No mother wants to hear her children tell her that she is less than, and yet so many of us will hear one version or another of that many times over the years. Goodness knows I did it to my own wonderful mother a time or two as a kid. I hope to always be able to take wisdom from the trees in these moments. Let yourself be pruned, let the leaves and needles that need to fall go freely with the wind, and stand tall knowing that your roots and the good soil around you will keep you standing. Like in nature, the more you can do that, the more you will start to notice other thriving “trees” around you. Maybe the seeds and needles you let go of will even travel to another place in the world where they, too, can thrive. Rejoice in that. Holding onto people and things you aren’t meant to will only keep you from achieving your full potential and beauty and keep them from growing the way they should.

This brings me to my next point—when NOT to be a tree. Hopefully it is clear by now how much respect I have for trees and forests. There is so much we can learn from observing the natural world around us. But one of my all time favorite tree quotes I’ve ever seen is this:

I think that especially as Americans, we live with a great emphasis on resilience and self-reliance. We are told how wonderful it is to meet people who are strong and steady as oak trees. (And indeed it is wonderful to know those people. My husband is one of them.) But in our emphasis on staying strong and pushing through challenges, we sometimes forget that some challenges aren’t meant for us to overcome. Sometimes the obstacle is put in our way to send us in another direction. This doesn’t mean you are giving up. It means you are choosing to survive and to thrive. Imagine for a moment that you are a strong, steady tree. You have weathered many storms so far and your bark has hardened, forming a rough armor that now protects you from most of what will come your way. Now imagine that a forest fire is what is headed your way, and remember that you are not a tree. Get out of there!

So, for anyone reading this today who is in a season of constant obstacles and challenges, remember that you as a person have great opportunities to move and make changes. None of us can change the past no matter how much we may want to. Trying to change it or spending hours, months, or years regretting how you did or didn’t handle something won’t serve you. It will keep you tethered to the pieces of the past that are breaking you down. Make peace with them in whatever way you can, and then let them go with the wind. Or bury them in a giant pile of leaves and set them on fire. Either way, you get to walk away and start over. Time and tide wait for no man, and your time is today.